i dont want to grow up

just stop it

2007-09-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE
I PROBABLY KNOW WHO YOU ARE
STOP BEING SUCH A TELL TALE IDIOT
CARE ABOUT YOUR OWN BUSINESS
BEFORE YOU POKE YOUR ASS INTO MINE
GO AWAY

yes yes
you may say whatever i write here
it not private
and you have a right to read

OH YES
I WELCOME YOU TO READ
COME AND READ
I GLADY WELCOME
AND I AM REALLY SO HAPPY THAT YOU TOLD THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT WHAT I WROTE
WOW!

oh well.
i just dont understand
dont you guys have other better things to do
why are you guys so retarded
telling tales very fun meh

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

and watch your own backk

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF BITCHES

2007-09-05T14:21:00.000+08:00

MOVED

maybe i will come back

i just need some time off

is it just because its me. or is he mean?

2007-07-12T21:34:00.000+08:00

just when i thought i had face up and recognize my flaws
he had to say that one seemingly harmless yet fatally hurtful statement

just when i really really thought that so what if i have many many awful looking scars on my body
just when i thought that beautiful is not what makes up a person
he had to come it and just shatter everything

its not easy for me to really come to terms with my body
its really not
it takes one whole bucket full of courage
and he just had to pour everything out

i am only just a girl
i am only sixteen
i am only a normal human being

i have my pride
i have my feelings
i have my achillies heels

can't you just be more sensitive
YOU REALLY MAKE ME HATE GOING TRAINING

why must you do this to me
taking everything that i once endeared away

ignoring stares and comments that i attract with my scars took me a long time
i had bouts of time where i was so damn afraid to even wear like short sleeves and shorts out
i would not step out the house without covering up every single patch of skin that i could

i really really love fencing like mad
but because of you
you make me detest going for training
and in the end gradually making me hate fencing

its just at the most crucial point of time that i am growing up
that you had to deflate my ego
burst my bubble of confidence
and do everything which ultimately destroys me

i not once but many times contemplate about committing suicide
i know its wrong and everything
but i really cannot take it anymore

you dont understand at all
to you, its only a statement
to you, its a joke
to you, its funny

to me, its not only a statement
to me, its not a joke
to me, its so not funny

to me, its hurtful
to me, its fatal
to me, its taking away my confidence

i used to think that i could live my life the way i wanted it to be
i used to think that no matter what people said about me, i could ignored
i used to think that outer appearance is not importance
but i am all wrong

you proved me wrong
you destroyed what i saw as beautiful
you made me see everything as ugly

you are the ugliest of all
i hate you
i detest you
i want to kill you
i want to strangle you with all my might
i want to dip you in a pot of worms
i want to fry you in hot boiling oil
i want to destroy you

just like how you did

i want revenge

mia

2007-07-09T19:02:00.000+08:00

haven been here for so long
that that
my com deleted the short cut to here
ahhahahs
anyway
its hiatus tillll week 10
.
.
well i guess you were expecting me to say dont misss me
but well i think no one will
ahhahas
.
.
in the meantime
its.
1. mugging
2. run at least twice a week
3. attend PAP regularly
4. ask kohakchin for help
5. practice my pieces at least one hour per day
6. watch campus superstar and hope she gets out. hahahas.
7. sleep by 11 everyday

seven things to do!
its seven the lucky number!

LIVE EARTH(:

2007-06-17T23:05:00.000+08:00

i hate seperations
somehow i think i will miss them

busy at conrad

2007-06-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

i am busy busy busy
"as busy as a bee"
as quoted from daddy
hahhas
working at conrad without pay
the job kinda boring
but the people there are super nice(:
will miss them when i leave

oh and i watch shrek today
finally(:

and so many freaky things happen at conrad
but well
i am not going to say
cause i just came home
and is really tired

going to snuggle off to my blankie

heehee
anyway no one reads this what
ahhahahs

2007-05-31T23:18:00.001+08:00

i hate this
and i cannot take it any longer
i dont know why
i tried to stop thinking about it
but it just keeps coming back
WHY
i know its never going to happen
but WHY
why why why why?
i really dont know what to do
):

2007-05-21T16:07:00.000+08:00

let the photos do the talking

the place where we had to edit and stuff
kinda cool

then after the whole thing
we were kinda bored
and there was no time to eat ):
so we took many many photos
hahahs

does'nt sijia looks like
she is hugging two concubines
hahahhas

me with yile!

me with sijia(:

sijia and yile

quek sijia the -ahem- model

YILE THE RAPIST!!!

we were being very stupid

-.-

me yile plus part of sijia

2007-05-19T11:21:00.000+08:00

I AM PISSED
IDOIT
IRRITATING
ASSHOLIC
GO DIE!

2007-05-10T00:14:00.000+08:00

You Are Likely a Third Born

At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.

At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.

When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.

In friendship, you are loyal to one person.

Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.

You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.

The Birth Order Predictor

INVENTIONS
HWEE RMBR MY WONDERFUL INVENTIONS
I AM GOING TO MAKE IT BIG!!!!!!!!!

BENITA CHIANG THE MULTI BILLIONAIRE!!!
WAHAHHAHA

2007-05-10T00:02:00.000+08:00

you suck big time
can you just go stick your head into the toilet bowl
and die of your own shit

2007-05-06T11:56:00.000+08:00

I just miss the good old days
where we were all young and kiddish
where we would play make-believe games
where we will all hide in grandma's room and play family
where the floor is the sea and the bed our home
where we would pretend to fish and cook
where all the fun lies

i just miss the good old days
when all of us were carefree
when all of us are not busy with school work
when all of us take the time to go down every saturday
when all of us can get together with no barriers

i just miss the good old days
where we were all so silly
where we had a make-up gang
where he was the leader and we were the rest
where we hold small meetings
where we plan our games
where we plot our tricks

i just miss the good old days
they are gone
they never will come back

they are just memories

HIATUS

2007-04-29T12:39:00.000+08:00

as mentioned in my post just posted a few seconds ago
i am very dumb

so as edison said(was he the one)
its 1% for genius
and 99% for hardwork

i decided to become a full time mugger to make up for my 0% genius
so i neeed 100% hardwork

so until 9 may
i will be on a hiatus

haix
i hate mya
they fall on stupid days

they are going to make me miss mine, my daddy and my mummy
birthday celebration
and the 10 COURSE DINNNERRRR

boohooo

a hungry girl is a sad girl
):

sad

2007-04-29T12:34:00.000+08:00

everybody in the world seems to be celebrating
EXCEPT ME
):
i have such a sad life
and i really think i am super duper totally dumb asss
i am damn blooodily stupid
):
i worry for my future
i look at my sister
getting straight As for all her major exams
getting picked for interviews for her desired faculty
then i look at myself
what a big failure
then i feel super depressed
maybe i should become a politician
who is actively promoting love your environment

actually it quite a good alternative to all my dreams
because they just had a pay rise
and then i might have the chance of becoming the first female president/prime minister in singpore

hahas
i can just dream my big big useless dreams

haix
can i be just a bit smarter

i dont understand
i put in so much effort everytime
but i get rewarded so little

maybe i am just plain stupid dumb

well
its ok
at least i sitll have my political career

alive and kicking

2007-04-25T14:34:00.000+08:00

ok. i am back school for the 2nd day
i been sick for 9 days ):
booohooo
with a fever of 40 deg
boohooo
and i missed school for like 5 days
and spent my weekends
sleeping in bed
nursing a headache
and a stupid fever

and now
i am doing rs
but our male lead not here yet
and sijia is bad bad bad baddddddy
she bullllliiiieeesss me
):
boohoo
hoohoo

speak up

2007-04-14T18:40:00.000+08:00

look what i found while researching for geog

Speak Up!
If you feel the urge to swear, curse, or scream at us or the PAP(preferably the PAP), please email us atspeakup@singaporedemocrat.org

hahahas.
i thought we arent supposed to have this kind of stuff
go have a look yourself
so many letters in there

http://www.sgdemocrat.org/classic/speakup.php

but got malaysia ppl praising our government!

"That's why me and many fellow Malaysians admire Singapore for the relative order and little corruption you enjoy there and yes, one of the requirements for achieving that is effective enforcement and severe penalties , which people like myself and Irina yearn for in our respective countries"

but like the letters all dated 2005
how come no one made any comment in these 2 years
especially with the pay rise

and people there all debating about drugs and death penalty
according to what i have gathered
i guess in 2005
some guy called shanmugan was hang for possessing drugs
then then
something about his family only receiving $150 dollars a month
and he got two sons
so poor thing ):
$150
is like my pocket allowance
and i have already thought that it was not enough for me
how to have 3 ppl surviving on $150

ohmygod!
read this

"I am here to share a true account, I was from the Goverment section then and every year when it come to charity donation it really piss me off, does the public know of the president star charity sure most people heard of it well the so call charity drive is to lot of people nothing else but extortion every year the sector involve target to raise a sum of money then present it to the president for the president challenge.

Little does the public know that this sum of money is not raised from donations but the management actually force those employed to donate a certain amount of money willing or unwillingly. This has been the practice for years and nobody has voiced concern over it for fear of the superior unhappiness"

how come they are allowed to write all these?
i thought cannot one

i just saw something else

"What did he have to die for? He carried a bag of "drugs" that is legal in many countries, has proven health benefits, and is as widely available as Panadol in the streets if you know where to look"

the shanmugan case
oh no
this feels like sec 2 philo
but oh no
i feeling quite sad over it too
how come in 2005 i never heard of all this!!!

and this!

"Your style of opposition does not appeal to me and most of my friends here at NUS. When you lost the elections, you put the blame on unfair competition. I have no doubt that if you are in power, you will make things difficult for those in opposition too.

If opposition members like Low Thia Kiang and Chiam See Tong can go against the odds and win a seat in parliament, then please stop giving excuses for your failure. Singaporeans have rejected you. This is a fact, face it."

actually is so interesting reading all this
but still
i dont know
why got so many people against or pro government
i dont really care anyway

i want to migrate!

bored stressed saturday

2007-04-14T15:39:00.000+08:00

i was running late of today schedule
i was supposed to wake up at 8 and go jogging
but i woke up ar 8.30
):
then i ran came back at 9.10
then had breakfast till 10
thenr ead newspaper till 11
piano teacher didnt come!
he was supposed to have come at 10.30
then he called and said he had car problems
so he reached ta 12
so this makes me 2 ours late of my whole schedule
):

anyway
this weekend gonna suck again
because there is so freaking much to do
and i haven finish them
especially geog
freaking hell
for a stypid 5%
we have to do individual and group component
for a freaking FIVE PERCENT!!!!
i gonna just do what i can and heck care
its 24 point and 5%
indiv is only 4 marks for 400-500 words
so for about every 100+ words i score a point
freaking hell

to the stress and beyond

tornado in singapore
heh

and many apples!

bees attack!

2007-04-09T19:24:00.000+08:00

today poor pau got stung by a bee):
so in tribute to her
.
.

< 3

jackie birthday!

2007-04-08T13:13:00.000+08:00

yesterday we had maths test
ok
it was such a damn fast test
go in
sit down
do test
then come out
hahahas
everything so fast
but the probability question sucks!

then we had bubble tea!
then we celebrated jackies birthday at

yum yum
then me and laine forgot to buy cake
then we went all around the mall to search for the cake
resulting me having a big headache
but wells
the food made it up

BE TEMPTED!

heehee.
we took damn long to find the cake
and all the food arrived while we were gone
jackie and grace.l
had such an awfully difficult time trying to control their mouth
actually i think it was only jac
she stole a tomato!

hungry girls = moody girls

see.
laine and grace do not look very interested in the food
but neither are they very happy to be dining with jac
hahahahhas
see jac you are unloved!

but you have me!

I AM HAPPY
WITH THE FOOD!

after grace had her food!

she is happy too(:

so is laine
see the GREEDY FAT PIG

then we had the cake plus the birthday song
which came 1 month and 4 days late
ahhahas
SORRY JACKIE!

she can't wait to eat it alll uppp! yummmmm

the way jac cut the cake was terrible and ugly!
ahahhas
but its V FOR VICTORY!

it just spoils our appetite
ahhaas

its yummy!

see la. the greedy one

guess what we did after eating so much
GRACE YEO
BE JEALOUS OF THE FOOD AND FUN
AHHASH

ooh.
we went to buy wooden dolls
i gave them names too!
mine is called CHEEKY PARSLEY
jac's called SMILEY PARSLEY
grace.l 's called PIGGY PARSLEY
grace.y 's called SPASLY PARSLEY
we dont know about laine
cause she left and we dont wannt care about her
ahhahas

then we all had a nice romantic walk down singapore river!

at clarke quay!

then we had a nice walk again
and we got so fascinated by an underpass
hahahas
and and
we almost wanted to sit BUNGY JUMPING
but we didnt have the cash ):
and we wanted a boat ride too
but grace was unwilling):
nvm
we still have other days

then we walked back to the mall
and enjoy hokkaido ice cream
BY THE RIVER
so romantic right!

the star of the day(:
<3 you!

i am a happy girl(:

2007-04-06T09:52:00.000+08:00

(:

the phantom!!
he rocks mann
hahahas

i love the way he sang this song!

I remember there was mist ...
swirling mist upon a vast, glassy lake ...

There were candles all around,
and on the lake there was a boat,
and in the boat there was a man ...

Who was that shape in the shadows?
Whose is the face in the mask?

Damn you!
You little prying
Pandora!
You little demon - is this what you wanted to see?

Curse you!
You little lying Delilah!
You little viper - now you cannot ever be free!

Damn you ...
Curse you ...

Stranger than you dreamt it -
can you even dare to look or bear to
think of me:
this loathsome gargoyle, who
burns in bell, but secretly yearns for heaven,
secretly ...
secretly ...

But, Christine ...

Fear can
Turn to love - you'll learn to see,
to find the man behind the monster: this ...
repulsive carcass, who seems a beast, but secretly dreams of beauty,
secretly ...
secretly ...

Oh, Christine ...

Come we must return -
those two fools who run my theatre will be missing you.

oh btw. the christine girl sucks!
so evil!
make my pooor phantom so heartbroken!

where is my trophy?

2007-04-05T18:33:00.000+08:00

ok.
actually i wanted to blog about the comp
and our win
and phantom of the opera
but well.
did not have the mood anymore

because
i feel kinda sad

ok
so we won team silver
but i dont get my trophy

because we have 6 ppl in a team
and there is only 4 trophies

not that i am trying to say anything
but just because i wasnt there for the prize presentation
does that mean that i dont get my trophy

if i didnt fence
or if i fence but i didnt fence well
by all means
the rest of you can have the trophies
but the fact was i fence like almost all the bouts
and despite all the effort i put in
i dont deserve the trophy?

ok
you may think i sound like a stupid bloody bitch
but the fact is i fence like a lot yesterday

):
):
):

we cannot give the trophies to those who fenced the most
because it is subjective
because some may argue or feel that the bouts
that they fence were more difficult and tougher
but if you really compare
would fencing one very difficult opponent
be more difficult by fencing 10 times?

oh wells
anything
i did my part
and i am really really really
happy that we managed to clinch the silver

just needed to vent my thoughts and feelings
so dont take offend

):
):
):
haix

2007-04-03T20:47:00.000+08:00

today was a very boring day with a capital B
ok
so i have two + one really crazy juniors
.
BEECAUSE
they are putting a sec one into their fencing team to fence in team c div tml
and ohwellls
the sec one like only got in touch with fencing for bloody two months plus?
ok nvm
although the sec one is really a fast learner
and james says she got high potential
but wells
why so hiong?

oh and they way my juniors handled stuff really made someone angry
and they way haha behaves
omg cannot stand it
can she go learn or read more about fencing
before she makes comments
that are oh so useful

bloody hell
anyway i suck like mad
):

interschools

2007-04-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

shant elaborate about fencing.

can i talk about IT instead
just that i doubt no one would understand ):
after the fortune telling today by adeline the great master
i started thinking
like real lot
about everything
about what i really thought of IT
and what i really wanted

its so hard
so i gave up thinking
actually there is no point thinking
period.

april's fool

2007-04-01T12:30:00.000+08:00

what a boring april's fool i have
and there is this toilet cubicle in the toilet near the magic lab
that have a veyr dumb poem pasted on the door
so everytime i pee
i will read the poem
its about
morning annoucements
go read it
quite dumb but oh wells

next
I FINISHED MY SS REPORT
OHMANNN
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT
HAHAHAS
AND AND
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT
KOHACHIN IS DAMNN NICE
SHE LET US DO MATHS TEST ON SAT (:
BEAMS
I LOVE HER!
HAHAS

oh well.
and tml is the comp day
I AM FREAKINGLY REALLY SCARED
there so much expectations to live up
and i am so scared that i can't
):
i should not have gone tioman
i should have stayed back to train
waaaaaah
and i am missing sports fest tml):

and and
i am really scared
omg
there are so many what ifs going on in my head
what if i lose to this really freaking greenhorn
what if i meet like trivia or cheryl wong
what if i do badly
what i i missed by one point again
all the what ifs and nightmares are haunting me like crazy
i am damn damn worried ):

anyway
haix

replies to tag:
chelsia: thanks baby's lover(:love you too (: <3
hwee:hahas. thanks. why is the action??? for the tou hao fans. must do for me and video taped and send me!! ahhas. love you(:
ant: hello baby! i love you(: you too. dont miss someone too much ok. thanks(:

and and
back to worrying
haix
i shall go train later

and and

go foilists!
we cna all do it(:
beams
this photo was taken two years ago!
our first novices(:
love you guys!

2007-03-31T17:16:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here
http://www.truefriendtest.com/scoreboard/181030

i got bored while doing ss pt.
hee

2007-03-31T12:51:00.000+08:00

can i ask for more?

sick silly me

2007-03-30T19:09:00.000+08:00

i am quite sick of everything
i am really very super stressed up

anyway someone has been ignoring me
i dont know why
but oh wells
if you have a problem with me
come tell me
ok?
i am kinda sick of this hide and seek or cat chase mouse game
whatever they call it
it goes on and off
sometimes you talk to me like mad
sometimes you ignore me like mad
maybe i did something wrong?
come on, just tell me
thanks

oh well
and another someone really shocked me with all her acts
i cannot trust her anymore
and i dont know howw
its true
you never can know what someone really thinks

and i am rather pissed with one of my film cluster group mates
the other two of you should not have told me about it!
ignorance is bliss
hahas

i really miss the good old days in pl
i dont know why
but todya i just thought of the good old primary school days
with my friends
although we had squabbles and quarrels
we always patched up
but come to think of it now
they quarrels we had are so childish
heehee
and i dont know why
but i just thought of all the worship songs that pl taught us

i dont know
but i kinda miss worship blocks
i really need a faith in something
cause i am losing faith in every other thing
pl provided me a god whom i could trust

i like missionary schools(:
i like pl(:

worship time is like
omg
i really need a worship block
where i can sing all the worship songs
and we all can be with god
(:

my parents going to kill me if they know i think this way
cause well
i am not a christian but a taoist
and well
they dont like me to convert
):
so i am really like faithless
soon i will lose faith in life

and i am really stressed up
over everything
heeelp!
maths test
ss pt
and fencing comp

ever since we changed coach
i lost all my confidence in fencing
now i really miss jiaolian
i dont have the courage to attack anymore
neither do i have the strength to defend anymore
i dont know
i think i am facing a mid life crisis
wrong. semi-quarter life crisis
):

i really lost all my passion and dreams for everything
i used to have this big big ambition in me
about what i wanna do for my life in the future
but now i dont know
i am like stuck
i dont know what to do with my life anymore

maybe its my mummy
she keeps hitting on me
to become a doctor
when i really dont want to be
now she really hit me
and i become lost and confused
i think i will end up as a toilet cleaner

i need someone to recognize and support my dreams and passion
not someone who keeps pouring cold water over it
diminishing everything

i always thought that my mummy would support my dream and my life
but i was wrong
she is so against everything
why can't she spare a thought for my feelings and my ego
why can't she understand that my life should be determined by myself
even if i make mistakes
even if i go on the wrong path
i will take own responsibility
why can't she understand

haiii
i really miss you
i know its like impossible to see you again
but i still miss you
):
all of you
its like even if i can fly over
it will be like when i am 30 years old
and by that time
everything will be different

where can i find
the days we had
the time we shared

and sorry to twin daddy mummy and ahma. i dont have a nice photo of all of us
we should really go out
and i have like ZERO pictures with mummy )):
lets have family reunion!

stressed

2007-03-25T18:39:00.000+08:00

I AM LIKE DYING AGEING PIMPLE-ING
AND EVERYTHING THAT STRESS CAN DO TO YOU
))))))):
.
if we become barney-cles
then we be HERMAPHRODITES BARNEY
which is rather gross
hahahs
.
love everyone!
i miss you twin
and daddy
and mummy
and er.
grandma
):
.
and and
i miss zhaxia
xiangxiang
emmily
jamie
and
all the rest
):

mugging period

2007-03-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

mugging sucks
and i am all so stressed up
):
and it just sucks sucks sucks
and well
my dear friend anthea
cheer up(:
.
its just so silly and ridiculous
just how one simple thing can make my views on one thing one object one person
change so drastically
maybe i wont be able to like that thing anymore like that object anymore like that person anymore
.
its so silly
girls are silly
boys are sillier
humans beings are just so silly
why can we all just be like a oyster
and live a simple life
like just being on the rocks
.
there be no differences
there be no tears
there be no pain
why not?
.
anyway
to my twin [if you got read my blog]
dont be sad ok
cheer up
cause you still have all your friends
and ME(:
i dont know what happened
but just cheer up
cause being happy is good(:
and and dont be sad
cause i LOVE you LOADS
and confiding is NOT a sign of weakness
if you ever need someone to talk to
i will always be here
smile!
.
and to dear ANTHEA
dont think about it anymore
ok
you are one great girl
who cares about what and what
we all love you
and that is enough
study hard
and play hard
and swim hard
dont let it affect you
BE BRAVE(:
love you loads + loads + loads(:
.
.
why are all my friends sad?
dont be ok, friends?
ok?
cause you all make me very sad too
you all sad
i sad
everybody sad
life so sad
then so pathetic
we all must be HAPPY!
.
aiya
actually i feel very sad also.
i am supposed to be mugging
but i very sad
so here i am blogging
about sadness?
dont know
its hard to trust
.
can time rewind?
.
anyway i feel kinda hungry
i think mugging makes me hungry

lala

2007-03-20T09:47:00.000+08:00

THE PASAR MALAM AT MY BLOCK HAS A STALL THAT SELLS
.
.
CARS!!!
.
hahahas
so crazy right
i went jogging this morning
and now i need to mug
but for now
i show you my conservation with my dad
.
d: you got boyfriend right
m: har? since when?
d: i saw
m: where?
.
ahahhas
my dadddy so funny
whereever did he get the idea that i have a boyfriend??
hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahhas

am i too blessed?

2007-03-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

the trip to tioman
really made me think a lot
and what mr tee said
well.
i guess you must be thinking why i so crazy listen to mr tee talk on life
[only some ppl will understand this part]
but well
i guess i listen a lot
and i get influence a lot too
.
this trip to tioman made me realized that i am really very blessed and fortunate
to have a daddy
to have a mummy
to have a sister
to have a family
to have a home
.
maybe saying all these is rather cliche
but it is really what i felt and thought
as i lay in bed the day when i came back
.
i guess i really dont treasure what i really have
i always take things for granted
i always blame this and that
and never realized that i already have everything
.
i always complain
but i never realize above all
singapore is actually quite a good place to live in
maybe i should start appreciating our govt
.
its all these little things
that when we go out and see
when we go out and feel
when we go out and experience
that we really realize what we have
.
and i must be thankful
and not greeedy
i really must be contented
.
and during the time in tioman
i realize something more impt
when i picked up my hp and saw my wall paper
with me and my daddy at singapore river
at that point of time
i really really miss my daddy
.

Create your own message at BlingyBlob.com

2007-03-16T14:06:00.000+08:00

anyway
i just got back from tioman
the food there kinda sucks
.
hope my sister and hendrick coming over today
i wanna play mahjong!
.
ok
i am black in the face and the hands
but not at the legs ):
the suntanning isnt that good after all
but the snorkelling was hell of a fun!
and my face is peeling):
.
selection trials
i guess should be over
):
so i guess i am not in
argh
maybe i should not have gone for tioman
hmm
i guess i am kinda sad
i dont know
i guess its just natural
that you will feel sad that you didnt get in
):
bleah

hello!

2007-03-04T11:58:00.000+08:00

hello.
i know why everyone says my blog is emo
we came up with the reason
hahas
sorry everyone
i dont mean to be emo on my blog
but well
i feel that my blog is an outlet for me to vent my emotions
that is the point of keeping a diary right
but then
the problem is
i only uses my blog when i am sad
angry
angsty
or whatever
negative emotions

the reason is because
when i am happy
i will be busy being happy
and doing all kind of happy and high stuff
celebrating with people
so i dont have itme to blog

but when i am sad or down
i prefer to be alone
so when i am alone
i have nothing to do
so i will use the comp
then i will go to my blog
and then i will start writing emo stuff
hahahas

well.
macey tan i saw your blog
everybody will have their sad times what
everyone even ME will feel sad
hahhas
like
no matter how cheerful and optimistic the person is
there will still be times when she will fall down
ok?
ahahahas
so actually i get over my sad stuff pretty fast
like the shortest time i got over some sad stuff was
after i wrote and publish the post
i was like
shit i dont feel like that anymore
should i delete the post
ya
hahas
the longest time i took was probably two weeks

but normally i dont show like my sad times to anyone
so well
i still be happpy and cheerful when i am in school (:
its only when i am alone
when i have nothing to think about
ya hahahs
i am quite a weird person
but that is not the point

ok.
so i decided to blog about happy things now!
to improve the outlook of my blog
hahahs

GOOD NEWS!!
my jie the idiot fat face but VERY SMART
SHE SCORED LIKE STRAIGHT As FOR HER 'A' LEVELS
LIKE EVEN HER GP PAPER
SO THATS FIVE As

ok
so maybe falling in love does help
my mummy was like
you better expect to get Bs or something
because she kept thinking that she falling in love will distract her from her studies
but well
it is proven wrong

because her boyfriend scored straight As too
like five As

but why must they be so smart
then i will feel really sad and inferior if i dont do as well for my A levels
oh well
wait
i cannot be sad
ok
ignore that part

well CONGRATULATIONS
WELL DONE WELL DONE
(:
-BEAMS-

hahas.
i think jie and her boyfriend did the best among their friends
and i think only they are a couple
so well maybe i need a boyfriend to be smarter too
ahhahs
any offers?

sorry guys

2007-02-27T20:22:00.000+08:00

sorry guys
i am just down and depressed
but i will be fine(:
been doing lots of thinking about the past
i realized and ling wu a lot of things
thanks to all my darlings
whoe helped and supported me
thanks

charlene huang!
we must go out with the rest ok?
i miss you guys much much muchly
i cannot tag on your board.
):

i am strong
and i will soar

not that i want to be emo

2007-02-24T00:45:00.000+08:00

you say i am emo
but if you were drag and thrown into the same situation as me
you dare say you wont be emo
i am like turning crazy
my life is unbalanced
and i mean it
its kinda of meaningless
you wake up each day
frightened
you dont know what she is like today
this is just enough to make my nerves go wonky
what about the rest
about changing people
i can just die
its too much for me to bear
i want to retreat back into my comfort zone
i want to hide and never come out
but no one is able to provide me with a hiding hole ):

people change

2007-02-22T20:45:00.000+08:00

i feel really bad
and sad and whatever
everything seems to be in a mess
no one seems to understand
i dont know what to do anymore
i really dont know
people change and go
they leave me pondering and wondering
they hang me in midair
amidst everything
i feel lost and confused
where am i
i really dont know
who am i
i no longer can tell

HAPPY VALENTINES!

2007-02-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

helloooooo
happy valentine's
i am cheered up cause of this day
beams!
to all who gave me presents
THANKYOU
and to all my beloved friends
including my mortal and angel
i love you all!
beams beams beams
love love love!

tired

2007-02-11T22:53:00.000+08:00

rather tired.

where is my calling???

2007-02-09T23:28:00.000+08:00

been doing a lot of thinking
thinking so much that i dont know how to put all my thoughts down here
i am sort of feeling out of place
and i feel that i have an identity crisis
i dont know
but all my big dreams and ambitions are like smashed by a few words
just those few words made me so messed up
like i dont know what to do with my life anymore
i am not sure what i have wanted can work out
and can even fufil
and if its even my passion
i dont hear my calling anymore
help.

i guess i need a hiatus

barney is STRONG(:

2007-02-05T23:09:00.000+08:00

hey!
sorry to all
that was just the freaking emotions of mine
i just needed to let it all out
sorry.
dont worry
.
i promise
i will be strong
i will be the CHAMPION(:
haahhahas

i hate the number 14!

2007-02-03T22:32:00.000+08:00

i never felt this bad before
i never cried because i lost before
i never felt so disappointed in myself before
this is the first time
because of fencing comp.

OMG.
freak. i suck big time.
i was just this close to a freaking medal.
the medal of recognition of my effot, my ability
but i freakingly lost to somone who is like lower rank than me!
this just prove that i suck big time.

i am a damn useless piece of shit.
OMG.
i freakingly should just kill myself.
i worked so hard
i want to prove to my parents that i can excel not only in studies(although i dont really)
I SUCK
OMG OMG OMG
this is the bloodily first time i felt so useless
i should just go die

freaking shit
i am damn bloodily disappointed in myself
like how can i lose to lower rank
i worked so hard to achieve the third rank
i had such good advantage la
WTH

such a good headstart
but i RUINED everything with myself
this just go to show how stupid freakingly useless i am
i should just go die
i workedddd so harddd
WTH!!!

i hate myself
freak freak freak freak
someone please kill me

FUCK!

OMG.
i just realized i dont have a single talent
i am damn useless
i cannot excel in anything
I SUCK
i am just a useless pig

KILL ME, WILL YOU.

you want food or jeremy??

2007-02-02T23:28:00.000+08:00

hahas.
let me tell you the answer to the question above
the answer of people around me
.

thats him. mr jeremy.
.

ahem. ignore this picture. GAYS. between baldie and tang san zhang
ahem ahem
.

jessie looks like she is flipping the page of a book right
she looks like she is so interested in the book right
WRONG!
she is eating
EATING OUT OF A HUGE LUNCH BOX
WITH TOFU AND CURRY
.

thats my apple pie!
from HANS
everyone was eyeing it
ahhas
.

the huge lunch box jessie was eating out from
.

so she kai-donged. and finished. thats explains the line
.

you can guess what happened. sijia thinks it look like the end of a li jie wen da
.

this is the back table. and that is prove of food!
.
JUST SOME OF BGF'S HANDIWORK

.

.

.

.

try reading this. i dont know how. copy and paste the picture and enlarge it. ahahs
.
WE ALL JUST LOVE FOOD (:

retro

2007-02-01T21:25:00.001+08:00

WE ARE HEAD OVER HEELS WITH POLKA DOTS!

BARNEY DAY!

2007-01-31T23:06:00.000+08:00

hahas.
today we saw a barney truck outside school!!!
and today when i went for my medical appt
the tv in the clinic was chowing barney
heehee

lele!

2007-01-27T23:35:00.001+08:00

.
MY MOST BELOVED SENIOR((:

.
and funny bobo

i miss the times

2007-01-27T10:04:00.000+08:00

i miss the times when we were there
i miss the times when we skipped aerobics class to talk
i miss the times when we skipped gong fu class to gossip
i miss the times when we sneaked out in the night for food
i miss the times when we snuggle under our blankies
i miss the times when we froze ourselves with the coldness plus aircon
i miss the times
taiwan'05
love < 3

little secrets for little girls like me!

2007-01-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

i dont know.
but after nie yile forced me to tell her my long kept secret
hahas
actually not
since BGF knows about it
.
its so funny
like for dont know how long i never think about it
then suddenly i got reminded of it
actually it was rather sweet.
hmm.
i think this part only laine knows(:
.
oh well.
maybe i should sotp thinking about it
as there is SO MANY OBSTACLES
hmmm.
and i cannot lose the HEI BAI ZHENG SHU bet to the BETRAYER BGF!!
.
hahahas
i think she will lose
heeeeheeeee
.
MY STUPID FAT PIG SISTER IS LYING ON MY BED!!!
.
hahahs
i am drowning in sweetness
.
I WANT TO PLAY MAHJONG
WHERE IS ALL MY MAHJONG KHAKI!?!?!?!?
.
.
ahhh
can i dont reply tags.

little secrets for girls like us(:

2007-01-25T19:36:00.000+08:00

today during rs
nieyile forced me to tell my secrets ):
humfph!
then i found out BGF told chelsea my secret
how can!!!!!!
BGF i hate you
no more valentine present for you!!!!!
humfph!

leelaaloo

2007-01-24T21:16:00.001+08:00

some photos to share
thought about it
i guess i should not dwell on it anymore
losing is a fact
and maybe i should try to get used to it
GRACE LIM YI XIAN.
hahas. feel honoured to see your name?
i know you do read my blog
and i know you are that piggy person
its so obvious
so stop denying!!!
and stop saying that the trophy or whatever belongs to me
its belongs to you
its a fact
you can fence
and you are good
stop dellusionizing yourself
thinking that others are always better than you
ok?
promise?
you are good just that you lack the confidence.
go grace(:
love < 3
.
and ya
i was being rather dumb today
if you read my blog
you would know i decided to go jogging every 135.
so i went jogging today without peeing
so halfway
i felt like peeing
so i went home and pee
and ended up jogging for a pathetic 10 mins
yes. i am a loser
.
ok.
back to the point of not dwelling over my loss
instead
i should turn my sadness. my disappointment into what
hard work
skill
strength
and prove to everyone that
BENITA CHIANG CAN FENCE WELL(:
heehee.
ok.
you can say i dont fence well
whatever.
i know i do. but one day i will(:
and yup.
umm.
i should not elaborate on the person that we fencers all hate
we all know how much i cannot tolerate her
.
hahahs
and well
i just got freak out by a fellow classmate today
come ask me if you are kaypoh
hahas. this reminds me of hweehwee
my kaypoh buddy
but well. now she upgraded
to my BGF
HEEHEE
love you hweeeeeee(:
.
hahahas
and i dont know what happened
but was talking to my friend online
and she talked about like her bgr
cannot disclose her name
hahahs
and today during physics
casey ong talked about boyfriends too
and he said that " benita, better not let me catch you with a boyfriend."
ahhahas
long story
cause ummm. i said something about girls dont need to rely on men to live or something.
i dont know.
or what. i dont want to have a boyfriend
hahahas
anyway.
i still need to find the first hei bai zheng shu for BGF.
hahas i keep typing BGF as BFG - big friendly giant
hahahahhaas
dont scold me!!!
i still love you
and umm.
i just realized that if we lose one hei bai zheng shu
we will lose another one
unless we dont lose at all
well.
i guess i wont lose.
cause BGF will surely lose.
ahhahahahahhahahhahahahas.
dont scold me!
.
oh well. then back to the boyfriend thing
when i was young
i used to think how sweet a guy would be if he were to offer me his jacket when i am freezing like mad
then i recalled
ummmmm....
better not say
hwee. i think you know. you cna ask me if you forgotten
if not later you say i lose the bet
ahahahahhas
anyway. photos time!!!!
.
.

.
grace lim. my friend for ummm. 10 years?. yupp
oh well. got lots of things to say to you. but i dont dare. cause you look like you will box me anytime
hahas. so i am saying it here. thank you for the many times that you cheered me up and stood by my side. and reallly SORRY SORRY for the many times that i hurt you. lets promise to put all this behind us. and start good friends. fellow fencers. fellow schoolmates once again(: love you!!
.

.
jackie!!! my number one teddy bear. you are one great pal!!! thank you for comforting me when i always lose my games. and thanks for always giving me a hug when i ask for one!!! love you. my fellow foilist((((:
.

.
my batch weapon mates((((:
i dont have a photo with grace yeo and i aint that close to you. so well. we are all part of foil((((:
go foil sec 4(: woah. we are SEC 4s. hahahahs. love you guys((:
.

.
and laslty. my LAOGONG. THE ZAI KIA. (((: love you forever and ever. thanks for always giving me lifts home and doing stupid things with me and sharing many little sinful secrets with me(((: love you MOST!!
hahahs. alter the other foilist box me. i better run and hide. byyye

my few steps to a slim and tall figure

2007-01-23T19:39:00.000+08:00

hahas.
i decided to go jogging every monday wednesday and friday
and i started yesterday
wanted to like skip on tues and thurs but now my ankle cannot have pull and push pressure
hahahs
sounds so physics
anyway
then i would go cycling on saturdays
and sun a rest day
then every night i would do like 20 sit ups and 1 min of bridge
and umm
do butt exercises
hahahahs
wait till you see the new change in me!
hahahahhahahahs
.
well
training was rather ok
i still think james does not like me
and he keeps picking on me):
anyway
i go a few photos to share.
but too lazy to update
shall be a nice little girl by umm
doing my homework
and maybe practice piano
and umm.
.
rs was rather hilarious today
heehee
.
i cannot stand her face leh
everytime i see her
i want to slap her
ahhahahas
.
off to be a good little girl
.
tioman?
fencing?
.
which should i choose?
.
umm.
still rather upset over my loss
especially james was like how could you lose to them
wth ):
he just makes me feel bad everytime
i wanna train harder
i wanna to excel
.
now i recall like since sec 1
whenever we are to write our goals
i always write that i wanna excel in fencing
but seems i still haven acheived it ))))))):
rather rather rather
very very very very
upset
))):

do i have any value?

2007-01-20T23:24:00.001+08:00

i feel like an useless pig
i cannot do anything right
i am just a retard

the missing spice in my life

2007-01-16T20:14:00.000+08:00

training is so bloody boring without the seniors
and it was pointless now
with the new exco and stuff
and the stupid rules they implement
i hate fencing now
they made me
and i hate them for it
.
ahhh
i miss adeline and co.
):
and well
rgs kinda suck now with all the prefects turning into booking machines
.
anyway
i cannot believe that to achieve her goal
she would like do that
and make use of somebody
and sacrificing that somebody in the process
such evil ways
.
and i thought maybe we would have become closer
but i was wrong
she is like a stupid back stabber
sucks
.
oh well
dont make me hate fencing till i quit
.
was talking to chelsia and sherylho about scholarship during physics lesson
cause chels is so scared of losing her chance of scholarship
oh wells
then it like suddenly got to me
scholarship is really hard to get
you really have to be an all-rounder
and well
i am rather a hopeless person
like i cannot excel in anything
.
ohwells.
feeling kinda emo
arh
i feel like a useless pig
oh well
some things are left better unsaid
if you are nice
come comfort me(:

YAY!

2007-01-15T21:09:00.000+08:00

heeheeheeehee
hwee's mummy and my mummy let us go for tioman trip
yay!
we love our mummys.
anyway got two photos to share (:
well supposed to be doing rs now
but just rewarding myself for studying so hard for maths test
and completing the dreaded commonwealth essay
.

this was in repluse bay. is that how you spell it? in hongkong.
.

this is in mongkok. while we were shopping((((:
.
i look kinda weird in both shots.
haix
i am just ugly. period.
.
oh well.
two more.
happiness ought to be shared
at my cousin wedding!
at swissotel
.

me with my sis.
.

my family.
see la. i dressed up but still as ugly
and i have to cover up with the jacket
):
ugly.

greed

2007-01-08T18:47:00.000+08:00

I WANNT GO TIOMAN TRIP
WITH HWEE CHARM AND HW
AND PLAY WITH SNAKES

friends again?

2007-01-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

its how funny some words and some actions
can change one's opinion of another one
and how it can change one's destiny
2007 has been a great start
firstly. oh i cannot say it.
its too personal
secondly. i had a chat with a few of the duifus
its been a year since we met
and well
thirdly. I DECIDED TO QUIT THIRD LANG.
finally i can make up my mind
for those who dont know me
i am a super indecisive person
i cannot even decide what to eat for dinner
hahas.
normally i would regret my choice of food
fourtly. we cleared the misunderstanding.
i really hope that we cna become friends again(:
but well.
i gain back a friend
yet i want to lose another
i dont know what to say
cause i am quite sure she reads my blog
and i dont want to betray friend A who told me about it
oh well. you would not like someone to go around bitching about you right
well.
i am really quite pissed at her
although it does not concern me
but the people whom are concerned are my FRIENDS
argh.
i dont know how to say
but well
friend A and friend B
cheer up(:
dont let her get it to you
smack her ass
slap her face
wake up in the morning
and she disappears!
ahhas
althought it never will happen
ohwell.
i dont care already la
.
and oh well.
no offence
but the new exco is making me hate fencing
like who does not la
hahas
but nevermind
i am quite sure no one in fencing reads my blog
i love fencing as a SPORT
but i hate it as the CLUB
oh god
shannnnnn. i want you back!!!!!!!!!!

first day of school

2007-01-03T16:37:00.000+08:00

well. as usual i cannot get to sleep last night
hahas
due to the excitement?
oh well
teopohpoh mine form teacher
biolim still teaching us(:
and we got a new class mate o.o
well.
feeling rather sleepy
had a nice lunch with shihua
today is probably the last time we can go home together
hahahs
what a boring day
i hate talks ):
i go sleep first (:

2006-12-26T12:26:00.000+08:00

got nothing to blog about
er. shann
i didnt go for fencing camp
heard only 9 ppl turned up
hahas
ok.
charlene hwang!
i blogged(:
.
ok i feeling quite pissed at a committee
i wont say which though

2006-12-08T12:56:00.000+08:00

once upon a time
there was a very fat girl
the bed shook with every movement they took
FAT

dont push it too far

2006-12-05T23:39:00.000+08:00

i know my cousins dont read my blog

but maybe they do

i dont care

its nice having all of you as my cousins

i feel very fortunate

cause my friends told me that they are jealous

cause they dont have a big big family like i do

and no cousins that they can be close too

thus i am really grateful

but dont treat my dadddy for granted

he is a nice nice guy

but dont take advantage of that

and for goodness sake

he is your UNCLE

not your daddy

you dont ask him to pay for everything

and you dont call him when you are like somewhere on saturdays

to pick you up to go grandma house for gatherings

yes

he always offers to help

but should you guys not show some respect

and be less thick-skinned.

sorry. i just could not do it

2006-12-05T23:30:00.000+08:00

i thought i could forget about everything

i thought after venting my emotions on my blog i can forget

but i was wrong

no matter how hard i tried

somethings just pop out of nowhere

reminding me of it

so that i just cannot forget

cannot

replies to tags

hwee: thanks. its been really great to know you and to have you as my best best and dearrest friend in sec 3. thanks for always comforting me! you look chio too. not inferior!

huiyun: thanks. we been playing mahjong everyweek(: i am really grateful for having all of you as my cousins.

clynn: thanks. i understand that logics(: hope you are having fun in china. its my turn soon in 4 days time!

charlene: because its hard to ignore reality. and laser treatment is ex.

shann: hello shann. you are the nicest senior ever!!(:training ended. and its really sian without you guys and jiaolian keeps neglecting us ):

charlene: dont worry about me.

sorry. i hate to be like this

but something just happened

maybe i am too sensitive

but my initution are always right

it just makes me feel worthless

it makes me feel nobody cares

sorry

2006-12-03T00:25:00.000+08:00

bleah.

feeling kinda emo now

sort of sad

haiz

explain also cannot explain

can explain also dont want to explain

its a super terrible feeling

i hate it

makes me ffel so zi bei

and everything

inferiority ))):

teach me confidence)):

saturdays are for hwee!

2006-11-26T00:06:00.000+08:00

whee. went out with hwee again

hahas

so i was blooodily super late today

because hwee never reply me

so i happily go play piano for dont know how long

then suddenly i saw her sms

hahas

see la.

your fault for always NOT replying me ):

so we watch step up

whooohooo

another dance show

love it

but storyline is much much much similar to save the last dance

but step up got hotter guys
.
.

drools.

this movie just remind me of something

but i wont say

hmm.

i dont think i ever get it fufilled ):

some arty farty thing

hwee thought was robot

-.-'''

lousy hwee

then we went crystal jade to eat (:

some noodle thingy

yummy!

thumbs up

my portion(:

and not forgetting XIAOLONGPAU

our all time favourite!

my portion):

see hwee ate everything up

hahas.

kidding. we had four each(:

hmm.

lemme see

wildwildwetdate.happyfeetdate.datewithlaogong.datewithlele

datewithleleandhua.datewithtwin.foilistdate

no money):

shopping list

2006-11-24T09:41:00.000+08:00

1. mummydaddy 's anniversary present

2. jiejie's birthday present

3. christmas present for everyone(:

i am so bored ):

and hwee never reply my sms ):

boohoo

i NEED to go out tml

to get the presents!!!

hwee quick reply me

will blog when i come home later

going airport for my prata date(:

hmm

tml their anniversary

but they aare not on talking terms

how?

is it my fault?

2006-11-21T19:11:00.000+08:00

i cried twice on the train today

i feel so bloody useless

but it is just so hurtful

when people stare at you

and talk about you

just because you are listening to a mp3

does not mean that you cannot hear what people around you say

why does people not have a sense of respect

why do they not have a sense of sympathy

why?

yes

i have only myself to blame

why can't i restrict myself

why can't i not scratch

yes

it is all my fault

nobody is to blame

i never blamed anyone

but can't you guys out there just be more sensitive to my feelings

its already not very pleasing to be an ezcema patient

and you people out there

instead of being discreet

you guys stared straight at my legs my arms

and tell your daughters and sons

how awful i look

how digusting i look

can't you just put yourself in my shoes!?!?

i thought i could just tell myself that outer beauty does not matter

my scars do not matter

its just me

and people will have to accept who i am

just when i gathered my courage

just when i forget my scars are ugly

just when i finally dare to wear a skirt

you all came along

and put a cross to all this

stopping me

making me tear

why must you all do this

i told myself

its ok

but its only ok if one of you stared at me

but not one

but threee

stared

and

talked

guess how hurtful is that

maybe i should just cover my whole body up

so i will not bring anymore digust to you all

yes

i am sorry

for digusting you

its times like that

that i need you

but you are always away

i am sorry

i promised

i promised to remember that i am a strong girl

i promised to ignore stares

i promised to remember its inner beauty that matters

i promised

but i got to un-promised

the hurt is too great

if all these stares only comes once

but it does not

so i got to un-promised

cause i can't keep them

i am sorry

i promised to think of those who are more less-fortunate than me

but i forgot

because the hurt came piercing into my heart

no shield

no armour was there for my heart

i cannot see their hurt

bring me there to see for myself

maybe then i will remember their sufferings

and forget about mine

say i am selfish

say i am ridiculous

say i am emo-ing

say all you want

nothing can hurt me now

i am not strong

i am weak

i have my pride

i have feelings

i am a human

i am a girl

a human that can be hurt

a girl that can fall down

and nothing can pick her up again

out with hwee

2006-11-20T10:40:00.000+08:00

went bugis with hwee on sat

that pig sleep so much

heehee

so we bought yummy ritz apple strudel((:

then i bought a necklace at bugis village

and a half length jacket at bugis junction

hee

we shopped and shopped

and bought jimbo jumbo for hwee

hahhas

i must rmbr every year her birthday i will buy her a beanie bear ((:

then we wanted to watch movie

but lousy bugis only screening three movies

so we trained to plaza sing to see that no nice movies

we wanted to watch flushed away

hahas

then we trained back to bugis to buy more apple strudel

then hwee went pasta mania to have her dinner

ohmygod

her tummy is so small

hahhas

and she is a food waster

see la this naughty girl play with food!

i rmbred

we went dhoby exchange to shop

quite fun

ahas

never been there

then we saw this cosplay shop

damn gothic

and we saw a man in the shop with a ribbon on his head

wahahha

then we saw wonderwoman and flash in bugis

heeehee

then hwee went for tuition

poor her

then i went to my grandma house

and played mahjong

and i won and won so much money

heehee

2006-11-17T10:25:00.000+08:00

it been 5 days since i blogged

i also dont know what to blog

cause nothing much happened

oh something happened

and pissed me off

later then say

monday

i went for dental appt.

and didnt bring enough money to buy the funny thing the dentist wanted me to buy

then he looked at my teeth and said i was not drinking enough water

hahahs

ohwells.

he keeps scolding me

he say i keep drinking gassy drinks

and making my teeth ugly

but the fact is I DONT AND HATE DRINKING GASSY DRINKS

ya.

anyway apart from that

he is quite a nice guy

but a bit weird

he keep asking me if i am this quiet in class

and whatever

ahhas

like how to talk when he is poking my teeth with hard metal instruments

hahahas

anyway i thought this would be the last dental appt before christmas

so i asked for green and red

who knows

he made an appt before christmas )):

tuesday

went for trng

nothing much

but my ankle is bad )):

hurry recover my dear ankle

pretty please

i will buy you nice socks

so you recover faster ((:

wednesday

umm. ooh.

i watched my japanese show

all eight disc

in a day

until my mama says the tv going to explode

oh well she likes to exaggerate

heehee

anyway it was quite nice and exciting

and i learnt some japanese

yay!

lets hope my passion in jap will be rekindled

heehee

ooh

if i were to be inspired to be a doctor it would be this jap show

hahas

thursday

ooh. thats yesterday!

ahhas

oh i was damn pissed

but before that

i watched my second jap vcd

it was kinda dark and gloomy

cause the filming and angle was always in dark areas and like at night

but it sort of a gloomy show

cause it is supposed to unveil the bad side of japanese girl students

like how they do sex to get money

yupp

and this girl contracted hiv )):

well i dont know what it going to happen

cause i ahed to go for training

and i prac my piano

see i so guai((:

until my faulty finger is painful

i carn prac too long if not it will just break off

i think i am disable

i have a weak ankle and a faulty finger ))))))))):
ooh.

training

i am such a stupid idiot

i came home then my ankle got painer ))):

but i guess i improved

but hweefang haiya

why she so zai

at least i didnt lose to her

tie!

heehee

oh wells. i should comfort myself

she takes private training!!

arrghhh

no. i must strive to do better

NO EXCUSES!!

yupp

and we won!!! ((:

heehee

ooh

i was damn pissed because there is this stupid weapon group

they are such big irrritating idiots

everytime come and snatch our piste

please

we use first

you want to use

either you wait or get another piste

why must you always zhang shi qi ren

use your coach to come and bully us

WHAT THE HELL

people having team competition

then you come and do this

WHAT THE HECK

you really pissed me off

WHAT IS YOUR F****** PROBLEM

and a note to you

i ahte using the f-word and this is the FIRST time i am using it

so can you guess how pissed i am

you do it one two times

its ok

but you do it EVERYTIME

you not even using the scoreboard

what the heck

WHY ARE YOU SUCH AN SELFISH ASS

anyway shallnt waste my time on such ppl

friday

and it is today!!((:

shallnt prac my paino after my mummy student leaves

should i watch my jap vcd??

maybe

but i am going to the food expo with mama!!!

HIPHIPHURRAY((:

my tagboard is rather dead )):

tag ppl ((:

replies to tag

vinna: hellloooo. i forgot what is your nick. oooh vinna YIPPY. or was is vinna banana

jessie: hello jessie the juicy. thankyouthankyou((:

rainie: you are yiyue issit?? yes thankyou sexyblog sexyowner((:

carmen: HELLO CARMEN RAMEN BIG BUTT BO BO JELLYSIFH!

lehlohlang: you pangseh our date. boohoo ):

twin: nah. not going to fam. they say not enough food so we cannot go )):

shihua: my boyfriend!!! heehee obviously i miss you. how can i not miss my darling

and YOU!! never even say goodbye to me )):

retro ditzy

2006-11-12T11:06:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG OMG

ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY

I TYPED OUT THE WHOLE POST

AND BLOGGER PANGSEH ME )):

NVM.

SINCE I AM BORED

SO HERE GOES...

yesterday went to school early early in the morning for fam

and realized we dont have to be there

all thanks to a particular someone

luckily i brought a book

but poor ling

so kind me lent her my phone to play

ahahahs

finally she ren wu ke ren

go get another particular someone to open the prefect room for ask the get the door gifts to pack

while packing

i had some fun((:

the packaging

nice and pretty ((:

the pouches are nice and pretty

but the contents..

hahhas

i didnt take picture of the chocolates

cause they were in a state not for ppl to see

.

SOME of the earrings

i like them

so RETRO and pretty

and glitzy((:

i think they are the nicest compared to the OTHER earrings

.

SOME of the OTHER earring

its about the same as the previous one

but without glitz

.

SOME of the HIDEOUS hairclips

due to a particular someone

and her fantabulous tatse

hahahs

shallnt comment

later kena book )):

.

SOME of the OTHER earrings

ling likes the rose one

i dont like

i think not retro at all

more like hawaiian

i think the loop WHITE polka dot earring is nice

and i realized that lots of the doorgifts can make good NATIONAL DAY ACCESSORIES

hahahhas!

red + white = national day((:

must <3>

ahhahs

I NEED AND I WANT A EARHOLE )))):

SOME of the OTHER earrings

i like the polka dot round earrings((:

the other one on the left if like metallic colours round and round

hahas

i think it would be nicer

if it was flatter

.

ling with the demostration of the how the ultimate ~~pretty~~ hairclip would look on hair

hahahs

this looks like a lolipop(:

heehee

red and white!!!

this one a lot ppl will have i think.

cause almost all the pouches i saw got this one

each person gets two ~~very pretty~~ hairclips

.

in the canteen packing(:

i think this clip is the ones that are passable

and the NOT-SO-BAD ones

hahas

red and white!!

ooh.

then after packing

me and ling went to shop at wisma

ling bought at bag

but before that we went dintaifeng to eat xiaolongpau

yummy yum yum

but i think crystaljade one is less oily!

LOOK!

XIAOLONGPAU!!

isnt is just so tempting

me and ling couldnot get enough of it

so we bought another one!!

dont you just feel like eating it((:

oh and we paid one buck for ginger slices

towel

free flow of tea/icewater

to make her money worth

ling played with her ginger slices

by adding all the tiaoweiliao in

ahhas!

i made better use of mine by eating them!

there they are.

now in my tummy(:

AND GUESS WHAT!!!

I FORGOT TO BRING BACK MY THIRTYTHREECENTS WORTH OF TOWEL )):

hahas.

now only can look

cnanot use )):

and the greediness led to a hefty bill

not very hefty

but so hefty for xiaolongpaus

i rather go crystaljade

<3crystaljade((: href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank">
.

then i went shopping with yile

met her at wisma

sent ling off

and shopped

then trained to bugis

OH AND I FORGOT TO BRING MY EZLINK CARD

AND I TRIED THE TRICK CHERYLLYNN TAUGHT ME

AND IT DIDNT WORK!!!

CHEAT ME FEELINGS ))):

SO MALU-A-TING ))):

nehmind

nobody saw nobody saw

nobody saw nobody saw
nobody saw nobody saw

nobody saw nobody saw

nobody saw nobody saw
nobody saw nobody saw

but darling girl

have to go home early to eat dinner with her mama

so could not shop at bugis village )):

and yupp

after that my daddy picked me up at bugis and went home to bathe

then headed for my grandmama house

and i played mahjong!!!!!

haven touched mahjong tiles since many centuries ago!!!!

except for the teeny weeny unwrapped ones at charmoo house

hahas

NOW

COME MEET MY COUSIN

SAY HELLO TO STRAWBERRY TALLMUFFIN

.

hello

~waves((:

she is hard at work

MAHJONG((:

and

i got a funny picture of carmen ramen the jellyfish

at take the art shop

on thursday

after collecting progress report and wrapping hamper for fam

we went food republic and hung around takawisma

hahas

<3>

heehee

but they pangseh me )):

and lehlohlang ponned trng )):

anyway

now i am going to seek solace in this book i call hell

note the word beginners

three years of jap didnt make me any different from a beginner )):

i gotta mug

although its holiday

cause i got to make my twenty bucks worth

i gotta pass jlpt!!

wish me luck((:

BORED

2006-11-10T15:14:00.000+08:00

ANYONE WANTS TO RESCUE ME FROM BOREDOM

I NEED A DATE

COOPING AT HOME

AD MUST KEEP QUIET SOMEMORE

CAUSE MY DARLING JIEJIE STUDYING FOR As

POOR THING

LOOK AT HER I ALSO STRESS

HAHAS

I NEED A DATE

STUPID HWEEHWEE THE PANGSEH QUEEN ):

SHALL GO DO SOME BAKING

VIVOCITY(:

2006-11-05T12:14:00.000+08:00

hee. i think this post came a bit too late
but nevertheless(:
we went vivo
we refers to ME. hwee. isa. chels. pau. lynnette
on the last day of eoys(:
pau and lynnette was damn high
hahahs
oh and we met miss chun and her finacee in vivo
hahas
i think they were so shy until they left the food court
ahhas
anyway it was fun fun fun
so many funny things and ultra embarassing things happened
heee.

embarking on our journey to VIVO!!!

on the way to vivo!!

we saw something suspicious in the mrt!!!

call 999 someone!

PAU and isa. playing

ahhas.

lynnette refused to come out

because got haze

so we cannot play ):

hungry hungry!!

at the expensive restaurant

deciding what to eat

hahahs

this was really stupid

we decided that it was too ex

so we all ran out of the jap restaurant

hahahs

so maluating ):

waiting for our ice cream fondue!!

me and greedy isa. heehee

hwee and chelz

dumb lynnette. she left her phone and her wallet at the previous restaurant

then the staff there called her dadddy!!

hahahs.

i think this was after she got back her phone and walllet

thats why so happy and crazy

our ice cream fondue(:

at swensens.

is this how you spell it??

TOP VIEW

[courtesy of chelsea low(:]

YUMMY(:

isaaa and her greeeedy face

heehee

finished by greedy isa!!!

then we went to some asian kitchen for lynnette lunch.

cause she refused to SHARE ice cream fondue with us

and we had xiao long pau!!!

although not as yummy but sastified my craving of xiaolongpau

then we went shopping and walking around the whole of vivo

and we made pau try on lots of caps

ahhahs

and we went to search for pau crabtree and evelyn

and all because of pau

we have to walk and walk and walk

walk until we die

then in the end the thing fully redeem

PAU!!

cannot rmbr where we were.

think was forever 21

pau smiling finally!

this was at some winter clothing shop

and we kena scolded for taking pictures ):

guess who is the terrorist!!

at toysrus!!

hahas. they had this big screen thing

where we can stand there and do funny things

and we met jellyfish carmen there

heehee

geoffrey was there to welcome us!!!

pau again!!

bob the builder + pau the knight???

at TOYSRUS!!

GETTING INTO THE HALLOWEEN MOOD (:

guess who are/is the masked monsters

hahahas.

scary ):

ahhas. quite obvious who is it

green monster!!

PAU AGAIN.

SHE TOOK ALL THE LIMELIGGHT

AHHAHS

old man

quite freaky

some lego built stuff in this enclosed glass box

was really pretty

but cannot really see here

NO MORE!!

HAHAHAS

__________________________

replies to tags(:

hwee: hello

clynn: hahas. my daddy says i am injury prone ):

hwee: ok. i shall be brave(: dont want. dont like doctors. waste money also

LEHLOHLANG: helllooo!! fine la. at least can walk. ok. i will kisss my ankle for you(: uh. i dont know. wanlin is in hk!! how??

jessie: hee. i will get well soon <3

hwee: i got update my links. you blind bat la. nvm. tag board beeeg beeg very special. ahhas

byebye

FOILIST OUTING!

2006-11-04T23:50:00.000+08:00

hmm.

we kept choosing dates for this

but we all seem to be busy people ):

i hope this date we finally chosen would work out!

quite frustrating to get a whole bunch of people together

finding out their free days ):

quite pissifying too ):

gone

2006-10-31T19:13:00.000+08:00

waaah. my ankle hurts like mad

i am such a useless piece of shit

i think its really sprain

not just a pull anymore

waaah

my mummy going to scold me

lets hope it heals by tml

please.

if not it will be blooody useless

sprain it like thousand times ):

omg

feel like crying.

haiz

2006-10-27T19:41:00.000+08:00

GUESS WHAT?

I THINK I GREW TALLLEERRRR

SO MAYBE I GOT A CHANCE AFTER ALLL...

TO DO WHAT I ALWAYS DREAMT OF (:

anway i am damn pissed

i cannot stand my mummmy

she still insist that i should and ought to be a doctor

AND THAT SUCKS

CAN ANYONE PLEASE PERSUADE HER

I HATE IT

let me live my own life

pampering!

2006-10-24T20:17:00.000+08:00

yesterday was MONDAY!!!

surprisingly i has no MONDAY BLUES(:

hahhas.

had netball prac in the morning

fun(:

i really love netball

really regret not joining in primary school

should not have listen to my mama

if not i will be zai-ed at netball

and erm.

tall!

ha!

anyway

now i have butt ache and leg ache cause 303 netballers are lazy bums

dont want to stretch

yupp.

cheryl go challenge the wrong class

then we play with 308

wanted to play with 30*

to boost our ego

then later a sec two class challenge us

got this girl

last time from my primary school

arrogant piece of shit

hate her!

hahas.

anyway we won them

then they buay song

and go challenge sec 1

hahas

then i went out with pancake face!!!

hahas

i dont know how that nick came about

from sijia?

hahas dont know

then saw this reallly pretty black dress from phuture london

BUT THEY NO MORE STOCK ):

so no chance for me to look pretty

ahahas

then er.

saw this nice blacck dress at isetan

went to try it on

quite flattering

not bad

maybe i will buy that

but see first

maybe there are NICER ONES(:

then i went to drink bubble tea

and the shitting started again ):

i must remeber NEVER TO TOUCH ANYTHING WITH MILK!!!

hahas

ya.

then i went to cut my hair

what a pampering hair cut that was

the nice hairdresser help me choose the style

her skills are quite good

but then i think it does not look good on me

well

shall not say what has happened to my hair

dont want YOU to laugh at me ):

anyway

someone thinks its cute

ahhahs

i laugh my head off

then this rather cute helped me wash my hair

but he a bit beng only la

hahahs

waah

his washing hair skills also quite good

then he helped me dry my hair

feels like head massage

SHIOK!

then he blew dry my hair with another girl

i think both of them are assistant

help to wahs and blow dry hair one

the girl also lian!

ahhas

shallnt discriminate beng and lian

cause they treat me so nicely(:

blow dry my hair until nice and straight

but anyway MY HAIR IS NICE AND STRAIGHT(:

ya.

felt like a princess

ahhaahahs

two person drying my hair and combing my hair at the same time

then oh oh

time was running out

i was late for tuition

and me being the nice and thoughtful girl

never call my daddy come and fetch

i go myself

boringest tuition lesson

stupid teacher give make up lesson

sian ):

then later my daddy being the nice guy picked me up and fetch lijie home

and we had a nice chat on the way to lijie's house

about random stuff

ahhahas

think tommorrow going shopping with her

well

i await the trip

later she whine and whine

then i whine back at her

i think we will piss each other off

THE BEST IS SHOP WITH PANCAKE AND HUA(:

<3>

<3hua

yay!

2006-10-21T23:48:00.001+08:00

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

EOYS ARE OVER

FREEE FREEE FREEEEEEEEEEEEE

anyway!!! i got so much things to say

but now i wanna go watch tv

and maybe some shitting

you know what

milk is gross

ok to me

cause i never drink for 5 years

and i stupidly mistook milk for soya bean

drank it

and now i have shitting symptoms for 5 days!!

luckily it wasnt so bad until yesterday

if not my eoys die ):

REPLY TO TAGS(:

HWEE: hello hweehwee. ya ya. first human!!

mugger: who are you?

clynn: THANK YOU THANK YOU. I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS VERY SMART(:

jessie: hello juicy! but you so skinny like no juice.

jer: I MISSSSS YOOU TOOOOO!!!

CANNOT WAIT

FOIL TEAM OUTING(:

finally

my to-do list

1. vivo city

2. shopping with yile and shihua

3. seoul garden with yile and shihua

4. kboxing with yile and shihua

5. date with clynn and yihwee

6. date at isa house

7. date at my house [ change of location needed]

8. shopping with hwee

9. foodhunt with hweee

10. mrt rides with hwee

11. date with laogong

12. uk chippy trip!

13. uk reunion

14. www with ling and dont know who

15. shihua and yile double double birthday celebration

16. barang barang with isa

17. ikea!

18. chocoate fondue with hwee and clynn

19. buffet trips with hwee and clynn

20. xiaolongbao!

21. shopping with mummy

22. shopping for a dress!! [I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME WITH THIS!]

23. rs storyboarding!! [sijia. if you see this....]

24. rs filiming

25. beijing and hongkong

26. cable bar with hwee

27. bungee jumping with ant!

28. sentosa with foilist! (:

TO FUFIL THESE DATES. I NEED MONEY MONEY MONEY

ANY SPONSORS?

2006-10-19T18:10:00.000+08:00

I CANNOT WAIT FOR TML!!!

1. english eoy
2. chinese eoy and geography eoy
3. chemistry eoy
4. social studies eoy and biology eoy
5. mathematics and physics eoy

ONE WEEK PASSES SO FAST!

2006-10-18T11:16:00.000+08:00

WHY ARE ALL OUR EOY PAPERS A KILLER?!?!?!

~~1. english eoy~~

~~2. chinese eoy and geography eoy~~

~~3. chemistry eoy~~

4. social studies eoy and biology eoy

5. mathematics and physics eoy

just two more!

go barney

you can do it(:

go everyone!

we can do it!

i am such a dumb ass

yesterday i thought the milk carton was a soya bean milk carton

so i happily poured a big cup

and drank it all

i thought it tasted damn weird

but since i never tried that flavour of soya milk before

i thought it was that particular taste

so i didnt suspect anything!

then i keep going to the toilet to shit

a lot of times la

shit until my legs go weak

then i went to the fridge and saw that was actuallly MILK!

and now

i still keep shitting ):

bleah

i dont wannt fall sick

cause i wanna go play after eoys!

waah

2006-10-17T17:19:00.000+08:00

WAAAH!! DIE ALREADY

CHINESE WAS A KILLER

I AM SO GOING TO FAIL ):

1. english eoy
2. chinese eoy and geography eoy
3. chemistry eoy
4. social studies eoy and biology eoy
5. mathematics and physics eoy
.

out of boredom.

from clarris' blog

(x) been in love

( ) been dumped

( ) shoplifted

( ) been fired

(x) been in a fist fight [pillow fight anyone?]

( ) snuck out of your parent's house

( ) been arrested

( ) gone on a blind date

(x) skipped school

(x ) seen someone die

( ) been to Canada

( ) been to Mexico

(x) been on a plane

(x) love someone or miss someone right now

(x) lain on your back and watched cloud shapes go by

( ) made a snow angel

(x) flown a kite

(x) built a sand castle

(x) gone puddle jumping

(x) had make-believe camps

(x) jumped into a pile of leaves

(x) gone sledding

(x) cheated while playing a game

(x) been lonely

(x) fallen asleep at work/school

(x ) used a fake id

(x) watched the sun set

(x) touched a snake [ZOO!]

(x) slept beneath the stars

(x) been tickled

(x) been robbed

(x) been misunderstood

(x) danced in the moonlight

( x) liked the way I look [dinosaurs are cute little things]

(x) witnessed a crime

(x) questioned my heart

(x) been obsessed with post-it notes

(x) squished barefoot through the mud

(x) been lost

(x) been to the opposite side of the country

(x) swum in the ocean

(x) felt like dying

(x) cried yourself to sleep

(x) played cops and robbers

(x) paid for a meal with only coins

(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't

(x) made prank phone calls

(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose

( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue

(x) ran in the rain

(x) written a letter to Santa Claus

( ) been kissed under a mistletoe

(x) blown bubbles

(x) made a bonfire on the beach

( ) crashed a party

(x) gone roller-skating

(x) glued your hand to something

( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole

( ) kissed a fish

(x) sat on a roof top

(x) screamed at the top of your lungs

(x) done a one-handed cartwheel

(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours

(x) stayed up all night

( ) didn't take a shower for a week

( x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree

(x) climbed a tree

( ) had a tree house

(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone

(x) believe in ghosts

( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes

(x) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all your clothes on

( x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger [WHEN I WAS A BABY!! THEN ANOTHER BOY BABY CAME AND KISS ME!!HAHA]

(x) broken a bone

(x) been easily amused

( ) caught a fish then ate it

( ) caught a butterfly

(x) laughed so hard you cried

( ) cried so hard you laughed

(x) cheated on a test

( ) cheated on a lover

( ) have a Britney Spears CD

(x) forgotten someone's name

(x) French braided someone's hair

( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool

( ) have had a fantasy over someone you love as a good friend

( ) fallen on your butt when you're roller-blading

(x) over-cooked rice

(x) overslept and arrived at school late

now i feel guilty ):

till then..

congratualtions

2006-10-16T13:23:00.000+08:00

congratulate me.

i finished studying everything last night

but i haven done the bio essay

which i was about to do but somewhat i ended up here

so heres what we left till freedom comes:

~~1. english eoy~~

2. chinese eoy and geography eoy

3. chemistry eoy

4. social studies eoy and biology eoy

5. mathematics and physics eoy

go barney you can do it!

i am sure you can!

oh wells. after todays paper

i am quite worried

i dont think i can get a good gpa

guess what

i decided to go shopping for assesment book after eoys!

anypne interested?

hahas

maybe i go with my mama

i am sure she would love to

well. not to do during holidays

but in preparation for next year

i must really buck up for eng and physics

my languages just suck

bio essay!

hweehwee! if you see this. come talk to me online ok? i got something to tell you ):

mugging

2006-10-08T10:00:00.000+08:00

MUGGING ):
.

BIOLOGY:
~~1. Enzymes~~
~~2. Photosynthesis~~
~~3. Homeostasis~~
~~4. Respiration~~
~~5. Cell Membrane & Transport~~
~~6. Ecology~~

~~7. Agriculture~~
.
.

MATHEMATICS:
~~1. Remainder & Factor Theorem~~
2. Kinematics
3. Properties of Circles

.
PHYSICS:
1. Moments/CG
2. Work Energy Power
3. Waves
4. Light
5. Sound
.
.
CHEMISTRY:
~~1. Mole Concept~~
~~2. Periodic Table~~
~~3. Metals & Reactivity Series~~
~~4. Acids Bases Salts~~
~~5. Qualitative Analysis~~
~~6. Reaction Kinetics~~
.
.

GEOGRAPHY:
~~1. Basis of Map reading~~

~~2. Map Interpretation Part 1~~

~~3. Map Interpretation Part 2~~

~~4. Map Extracts~~
.
.

~~SOCIAL STUDIES~~

~~1. Multiculturalism~~

not mugging!

2006-10-06T23:21:00.001+08:00

see!

i am not so muggerish after all

the outcome of ULTIMATE BOREDOM!!

Your Scholastic Strength Is Innovating

You are the master of new ideas, techniques, and ways of looking at things.You are talented at structuring thoughts, decision making, clarifying, and making deadlines.
You should major in:
MarketingPsychologyDesginCognitive Science EconomicsPhotography

What Should You Major In?

You Are 17 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

You are 80% Scorpio

How Scorpio Are You?

tribute to yihwee!

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.
You would make an excellent:
Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic DesignerIllustrator - Musician - Sculptor
The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's" Your Ideal Career?

Your True Birth Month Is December

LogicalPatrioticAmbitiousNot egoisticLoves praiseLoves to jokeFun to be withNot pretending Loves attentionShort temperedHates restrictionsLoves to socializeLoves to be loved Loyal and generous Impatient and hastyChanging personalityGood sense of humorHonest and trustworthyInfluential in organizationsTakes high pride in oneself Active in games and interactions

What's" Your True Birth Month?

Your Birthdate: May 3

You are more than a big ball of energy - you are a big ball of hyper.You are always on the go, but you don't have a type a personality.Instead of channeling your energy into work, you instead go for fun and adventure.Witty and verbal, you can have an interesting conversation with anyone.
Your strength: Your larger than life imagination
Your weakness: You tend to be pretty scattered
Your power color: Lime
Your power symbol: Lightening bolt
Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others.Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel.You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations.A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict.
You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Emoticon is Cool

You're not feeling particularly up or down, just relaxed and calm. You're ready for whatever is going to happen next!

What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now?

You Are A Romantic

You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

You Are 70% Grown Up, 30% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature.Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

off to watch tv!

accomplished(:

2006-10-04T21:00:00.000+08:00

i shall blog

although i should be mugging

but its ok

i am NOT feeling guilty

because i had hardcore mugging this afternoon

mug like mad

i feel damn accomplished (:

now i shall list my to-do list(:

for eoys

PHYSICS:

1. Moments/CG

~~2. Work Energy Power~~

~~3. Waves~~

~~4. Light~~

~~5. Sound~~

CHEMISTRY:

~~1. Mole Concept~~

2. Periodic Table

~~3. Metals & Reactivity Series~~

~~4. Acids Bases Salts~~

5. Qualitative Analysis

6. Reaction Kinetics

BIOLOGY:

1. Enzymes

2. Photosynthesis

3. Homeostasis

4. Respiration

5. Cell Membrane & Transport

6. Ecology

GEOGRAPHY:

1. Map Reading

MATHEMATICS:

1. Remainder & Factor Theorem

2. Kinematics

3. Properties of Circles

YUPP! HEY GUYS IF I LEFT OUT ANYTHING PLEASE BE NICE AND TELL ME

IF NOT I FAIL MY EXAMS ):

THEN I WILL JOIN THE SEC TWO'06 IN 07 ):

AFTER EOYS!!!

1. shopping with yihui

2. foodhunt and spore with yihui

3. yihui bdae bash!

4. hot dateS with yihwee

5. the movie that i own yihwee

6. hot dateS with laogong

7. many hot dates with cheryllynn

8. uk trip reunion!

9. uk trip to chirppy! [is that how i spell?]

10. many buffets with cheryllyn and hweehwweee

11. hot dateS with nieyile and gohshihua!

12. gohshihua and nieyile birthday celebration

13. barang barang with isa

14. xiaolongbao with many people

15. RS STORY BOARDING! [ WAH. SIAN):]

16. RS FILMING ):

17. HOLIDAY WITH FAMILY(:

18. beach trips with dont know who

19. sentosa & WWW with dont know who

20. KBOXING WITH MANY PEOPLE(:

21. LAST FAREWELL WITH SENIORS ):

22. TEAM OUTING. [hey foilist. must have kayys(:]

yay!

i wish for eoys to be over!!!!!!!

now i shall return to hardcore mugging ):

MORE PHOTOS!

2006-10-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS A HOLIDAY!!!!!!

hahas.

three cheers to mrs tan.

anyway

i was busy mugging till i was very tired

so i played with my phone's camera

and found chocolates!!

hahas.

someone gave it to me(:

but its already in my tummy ):

buts its ok

i have lots of chocolate in my freezer(:

then!! i went to look for my p3 autography book

because i wanted to find an address of my p3 best friend(:

and guess what i found

i am so hurt ):

she said i was one of her favourite friend

but she spelt my name as

banita ):

then i saw sth that i thought was funny!

LOTS OF BARNEY STICKERS!!!

AND GUESS WHAT ELSE I SAW???

some stupid teletubies

i rmbr when i was p3 teletubies was like very popular

and i had the miniatures keychains of all of them

and then my ~~favourite~~ po drop

and i was so sad

hahahs

then i took a look at one of my p6 autograph book!

and i saw a page full of SHIT!!!

WAHAHHAHA

it was like a birthday present from my cca cum schoolbus friend(:

humfph!

so angry with her

give me shitty book!!

THEN I SAW A VERY FUNNY PICTURE IN MY PHONE.

oops. i forgot to blank their faces.

shall go blank first!

ok..

it does not look as funny as it is supposed to

nvm

got to go mug!

byye

photos!

2006-09-30T15:29:00.000+08:00

today was rs trial filming day

yupp.

after that we went CRYSTAL JADE FOR LUNCH

yummy yummy! (:

then me and yile went shopping

and i bought a bag(:

and i was looking through my camera

guess what i found

i totally forgot i still had these pictures

its the photos from uk reunion at charms house!

yupp. so we decided to bake brownies(:

our ingredients!!!

doesnt it just loook delicious(:

ummm. YUMMMY YUMMY!

FANTABULOUS!!!

wanxin putting it into the oven!!!

guess what she did after this

ok. she looked like she is puking but NO!

she is like licking from our mixing bowl!!!

hahas.

and look at her manly muscular arms!

the state of charm island kitchen after our fantabulous baking

while it was baking

we went to watch movie in charm theatre!!

end of story. should have taken more pictures!!

.
.

guess what? that is the bag i bought today!

and my poor clutch

the flower went missing!!

boohoo

bleah

2006-09-29T21:23:00.000+08:00

forget about that emo post

well. i dont usually think that way

i always convince myself that

i am who i am

let peopl see for themselves who i am

outer beauty doesnt matter

i am a woman of the new 21st century(:

who cares about flawless and supple skin!

anyway

today i screwed up my jap test

and yihwee told me someone stole my photo

and i found out a bad thing

a bad bad thing

i am damn upset over it

just hope it wont affect me that much

):

2006-09-28T23:48:00.000+08:00

stop scolding me for my skin

its not by choice

its not my fault that i am born with this

stop accusing me of not applying my cream

and stop comparing me to jiejie

cause i can never be her

i can never be tall like her

i can never be pretty like her

i can never have flawless skin like her

yes my skin is ugly

really ugly

not like i dont know

have i not experience the so many situations

where i been taught by strangers that my skin is really ugly

just today

on the train home today

this woman kept staring at the scars and rash on my arms

then she decides not to sit next to me

cause to her

i probably have some weird contagious disease

anyway its not contagious

like when i wear skirt i always get stares from strangers

always

thats why i always insist on wearing jackets

yes i am ashamed of myself

yes i hate my skin

you dont understand

so stop scolding me

yes

i am envy of brenda chiang

i see her in her prom dresses

and i know i never will have the courage to wear one

but you dont have to keep addding fuel to the fire

have you spare a thought for my feeling?

have you ever wondered that i am a human too?

with blood and flesh?

one day i just scrape all my skin off

hows that?

i bet i look much more beautiful.

cause everything will now be in the same tone

no more spots and scars

no more being label as a 101 dalmation

no longer

hot date with cheryllynn

2006-09-27T20:08:00.000+08:00

boo!

i did some thinking

and thought that i should not speak evil for the sake of such ~~people~~

anyway

lets not care about that.

my hot date with cheryl lynn.

hahas. too many cheryls spoils the broth

ok well.

there isnt any link

bleah.

eating with cheryl makes me shit

and waste food

cause it a YES YES to food and food and MORE FOOD

hahahs

with cheryl ang is about saving money and sharing food

with cheryllynn is eat and eat and EAT

with sheryl ho is to decide what to eat

HAHAHAS

fine i am just bo liao

cheryl thinks i am a vampire

umm. cheryllynn by the way.

its cheryllynn from now on unless i state(:

but her definition of vampire also wrong

cause i told her coffeee bean is quiet but lights are very dim

so we went lido

and i was saying the lights were dim too

then she said i was a vampire

i was like har?

then she said vampire need light what

and i burst out laughing!!!

hahahas.

VAMPIRES NEED LIGHT.

good one cheryl!

anyway

so we pig

we had subway teriyaki chicken

country baked pasta from pastamania

bubble tea

limejuice

ice cream

chocolate mousse

and sweets

hahas.

damn full!

then i went to shit

to release the pressure

hahahs!

yupp

i forgot what i wanted to blog

lemme think.

i dont know

we crap a lot of stuff la

and eating with her made me waste a plate of rice

cause i went home to have dinner

but was too bloated to eat anything

hahhas.

damn jealous of her

eat so much still so skinny

then she scared next time after she give birth

she will POOM

and become fatty bom bom

ahhahas

then we decided to open our own slimming centre

ya!

and we HATE DIETING

HAHAHAS

so ppl dont diet

its BAD!

eating is a pleasure(:

OH WE KENA CHEATED OF MONEY

this woman came and gave us a paper to ask us to donate to some children thing

i was looking for an address

but cheryl already gave 0.70

then the woman turned to me

and asked me

so i gave one buck

then i read the paper

the address was somemore in phillipines

then cheryl asked for a pass

and it was queenstown singapore

AND WE REALIZED WE GOT CHEATED OF OUR QI MAO AND YI KUAI!!

hhahas.

fine

never be a kind soul!

ohwells.

oh.

today was bloodily maluating

when we walked out of the school

there was this sudden gush of wind

then our skirts flew up

mine flew damn high la

hahahs!

then we went to orchard mrt

then cheryl was like this escalator to shaw la

then i was about to step on it

then she said no no

the other one

so i was like balancing on my toes

in that little space just before the steps

bleah

yupp.

thats it

our enjoyable hot date

tml i bring mooncake

ITS GREEN(:

GREEN TEA(:

and u better bring my BA KUA!

hahas

must go mug le ):

my life is sad.

but i rather be mugging than enjoying life pleasure in a carpark.

well. you guys wont understand except cheryl

hahahs!

betrayed

2006-09-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

betrayed

oh my god.

i hate it when people lie

its not like i never ask you

i asked you whether you still want

its not like i never given you a chance to be honest

i did

but still

you could not be honest

dont expect me to trust you anymore

cause i dont think i would be able to

now i see.

fine maybe i am not as impt as compared to her

i know that

i know you guys are like the best of friends

i understand

but i dont mind

you can just tell me

you dont have to pretend and do all this

and the most important thing is that

I ASKED YOU.

you really make me want to puke

i am sorry if this hurts you

but this is what i feel AT THE MOMENT

oh well. i got to state everything clear and precise.

if not more complications would set in

and i dont want that.

oh to wanlin: this is aint about you. i promise. i already stated in my previous post

all bad feelings has ended with that post

so umm. dont be suspicious. yupp.

i am sorry i broken my promise to god about keeping my tongue from evil and my lips from deceit. i cannot help it. my emotions are being affected. and this isnt what i can choose

lord. i am sorry.

just one last time.

i promise

matter-of-facts

2006-09-26T18:15:00.000+08:00

my post is not written to change you. it is just about my feelings
not appealing to pity. or flaming or anything. not written with any motive. just expression of my feelings
not once have i pulled you into the picture. maybe except the post about hating someone. but wasnt hating you. it was a mistake writing your name.
asking you to see a doctor, wasnt a sarcasm. its just concern. think whatever you want.
never use people as pawns to get back at you, i dont even want to get back at you
i dont care about what ever happened in sec 1
not taking revenge at you cause i am not so scheming and childish
i never once wanted to use the fact that you and yl was once not on good terms to get back at you.
the issue of you and yl not getting well happenned so long ago. and its so unimportant so i dont rmbr it
i never once thought of winning you
i dont hate you. you think too much. you keep thinking that i would be so petty to rmbr whatever happened in sec 1. but as far as i rmbr nothing really happened in sec 1 that is impt for me to carry that hatred for two years. like i will be so boliao.
my life is not filled with hatred. God taught me to love not to hate.
oh please. you are just thinking too much. where got all this time i been trying to get back at you. i laugh my ass off
the swop was not wanted by me, it was wanted by two other ppl. yes. i admit i helped in the process. but i helped because they dont want to sit with their respective tablemates. not because i wanted to use yl to get back at you
it was not me who keep insisting on the switch.

ok. i dont admit i was not in the wrong.maybe we should have consulted you before swopping. but someone was afraid you be pissed and not wanting to swop. and you should stop thinking that i am trying to get revenge, cause i am not. but if you still think so. there is nothing i can do.

this post is written with a heart to clarify matters. but maybe you would not want me to. so its ok. it was not written with the mindset of "revenge! get back at her for what she did to me". absolutely not. i aint that boliao.

i dont think you will trust me anyway. so maybe this is just a redundant post.

________________________________________________________________________________

anyway. today was quite a fun day

we watched i not stupid during eng today. and mr ng came back from taiwan and bought us sweets(: and yupp. tml a day waiting for. date with clynn. hahahs. you must be so honoured. so today i must mug like mad for jap.

ok read my bible(: its such a small teeny bible. but it taught me a lot.

13 PSALMS 24

" keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit"

this post is the end of whatever anger i have towards her.

i would change myself and also reflect my actions and be sensitive so no one can suspect anything or make any inference which will hurt themselves.

i would look at her with a whole new mindset like i never known her before. and attempt to be classmates and friends with her. but it all depends. if she doesnt want like she said, she gave up. there is nothing i can do. i can just say. i am too rash. (:

everything is over. nothing happen. its all over. she is now a person who i never met before. and maybe she met me before

hahahs. i am confused. ok. whatever. byye(:

exploded

2006-09-25T20:12:00.000+08:00

explosion

stop it

i cannot take it anymore

stop showing attitude to everybody

i dont care anymore if this hurts you

cause you hurt me more than i can

and you hurt my friends too

stop being so sensitive

and in the end

it always sound like its our fault when it is not

maybe partially

didnt you ever once thought that you might be in the wrong

didint you evern reflect on yourself

do you always think that the world is against you

its probably just your attitude

you treat us for granted

so very granted

you help certain ppl

but treat others like shit

cry all you want

be pissed at me all you one

cause i am really pissed with you

stop throwing wkst to me like i am a dustbin

at least you can just put in on the table

what wrong did i do?

what?

just tell me what wrong did i do to deserve all these

maybe if you read this

you will find it real hurtful

but before you blame me

just reflect on how you treat me and others

even the most tolerant person i know is also pissed with you

how i can an superbly intolerant person

still put up with your sickenning attitude and psm-ing moods

i cannot.

and can you just remember

my blog is MY blog

i have the freedom to write anything I want

and if its about you.

it would be quite obvious right

so stop being so overly sensitive

but since you think all my emo posts are about you

maybe you should really do some REFLECTION

why do you feel all these when ppl write bad and emo stuff

why do you feel that weird feeling or even feel guilty

then there is something wrong with your attitude

so now you think the whole world dont accept you?

its the other way round

you are FORCING everyone not to accept you

stop doing all those stuff

cause you really make me go boom

and explode

its just like a pressure valve

it cannot take any more pressure so it exploded

dont expect me to say sorry or anything

I HAD ENOUGH.

stop reading my blog if it causes so much distress to you.

maybe you are sinking into depression

i would like to help you if you wouldnt treat me like that.

go see a doctor. [its concern not sarcasm]

maybe.

freak

2006-09-24T11:49:00.000+08:00

i hate my aunt

she is so irritating

always giving my mom stupid organic stuff

and brainwashing my mom to think they are good for me

my stupid aunt is a stupid health freak

too bad

i am living in singapore

the food heaven

no way i am going to give up these lickylicious stuff for ORGANIC STUFF

YUCKS!

anyway

i think my cousin is freaky

ahh.

i dont wanna see him anymore

but got same tuition

luckily still go lijie(:

why is he so freaky?

anyway he is the son of my health freak aunt

hahas.

anyway

my mom keeps stuffing me with all the organic thing!!!

hmmm

i hate it!!!

its it so damn bloody tasteless

then when i attempt [behind my mommy back]

to put some sugar

the outcome of my organic chocolate milk

taste like some bland thick rich brown color water

yucks!

no taste at all

yucks.

heehee.

anyway i feel guilty for lying to a certain friend

should i just tell her truth or just pretend

i dont know

yihwee. cheryl i tell you on monday

haix ):

life is complicated

but my life is complicated plus SUCKY

cause i have to drink some organic chocolate milk

and eat some organic apple

but the apple is rather cute too

if it is sitll in the fridge

i bring on monday (:

heehee

and for now.

my life is sucky

cause i have to mug 11 chapters of japanese ):

nono!

2006-09-23T11:17:00.000+08:00

shall not blog about XXX anymore

dont wanna XXX to pollute my blog

ha!

i am going to mug for geog and jap ):

but before that

lemme reply some tags since i haven done so for a loong loong time.

yihweee: dont worry. you will have wrinkles before me. cause you will be fretting over your future bf. hahas. that is so random. ok. will link your new and old blog when i am freee.. ummm. after eoys? ahahas.

charlene: hi. dont know what to say

shannn!!!: yay! i misss you loads loads loads(: thankyouthankyou. you must jiayyous too. erm for whatever you are doing now. jiaolian scolded us ): cause she says we everyday fence fence fence and dont want to learn basics haahhas! then she segregated us from the juniors and call us the da de. then laine was like. whoohooo we are the da ones now. so weird. used to being called the xiao one.

anon: so fake. i know its u stupid cheryllynn. and u even spelll my name wrongly!!

clynn: ok will link you after eoys. ahhas. anyway. lemme tell u. i learnt ballet before kayyys! just dont wanna admit it because your darling friend learns ballet too.

ohwells. my tagboard is so bloody dead.

i just did this chinese comprehension

and the passage is about holding on and not letting go

i think it makes a lot of sense

you see its just human nature that we keep holding on to things that we want

but we have never stop to think if these things that we want truly belongs to us

we never stopped to think that maybe if we let go

we get more than we want

and maybe even something better

maybe if we hold on and finally get what we want

we would feel very satisfied

but we have never thought that the pains and sufferings that we have to go through while holding on

is not exactly worth it

because holding on does not mean owning it

maybe we should stop holding on

take a step back

and expand our horizons

and maybe we find something better

ya. i realized now

maybe i should really stop holding on to what is not mine

i should stop holding on to that broken bit

and that tattered friendship

i should just let it go

and maybe you should too

stop thinking that i would be your listening ear and your anger venting machine

cause i am not

stop treating us for granted

get a real life mann

and to you too

maybe i should just stop thinking that you were the person i once knew

i should just stop

you changed after meeting her

you changed

you are no longer the one i knew

both of you changed

no longer my good friends

no longer the people that i know i truly care about

no longer

its time for me to let go

yay!

2006-09-22T18:29:00.000+08:00

peetees all over(:

time to mug for eoys

but for now

let me take a break(:

had a nice chat with yihwee and cheryllynn during career guidance today

we gossiped hahahs

about XXX and momomo and ZZZ

dont laugh about the oh-so-creative names we got for them

bleah

anyway.

shall blog more about XXX later

yay!

2006-09-16T17:05:00.000+08:00

whooohooooo!!!!

i completed all my peeeeteeees(:

yumm yumm

hahas.

ok that was irrelevant to the pt part

but very relevant to the chocolate i am eating!

how i wish our cabury are imported from uk instead of australia ):

anyway

I COMPLETED MY PEEETEEES

YAY!!!

TIME TO SLACK

SINCE I AM A GUAI GIRL AND COMPLETED ALL MY HW ON FRIDAY!

missing you

2006-09-15T23:09:00.000+08:00

i am missing you guys

yes you guys

my darling seniors

trng seems to be damn boring

but more serious [see what nice examples you guys set for us!]

anyway its kinda empty without you

i hate seperations

i remember the last time i cried over seperation was taiwan trip

i dont know

but on thursday elaine told me she will stop crying at competition

then i told her

i dont like crying in front of people

the last time i remember breaking down was again taiwan trip

at that time i was really shocked that i would cry in front of so many people

hahas

but wells

then char told me i looked like that kind who will cry easily

then i told her i dont cry in front of people

and then she was damn shocked

i dont know

but i always bottle up my feelings

thats why maybe everyone thinks i am damn cheerful

i even hide my feelings from my parents

do i have something wrong with my brain?

i hope not ):

anyway ya

oh. wrong. the last time i broke down was because i screwed up my piano exam

yupp

and i held back my tears until i reached home until i reached my room

on the car

i so wanted to tear

but daddy was there

i dont like to tear in front of my parents

cause i know they feel sad

i dont like to tear in front of my friends

cause i hate to see them sad too

i just hate it

that everyone feels sad because i cried

so i dont cry (:

anyway

what a stupid post this is

crying!

hahas

i just hope that i dont overly bottle my feelings up

and become crazy

so anyone wants to offer to be my listening ear?

i wonder

2006-09-15T22:53:00.000+08:00

i really wonder what kind of person she is

i dont think she is a human

i think she is a monster

trng(:

2006-09-12T21:21:00.000+08:00

boo!

i know i should not be here

but i just felt erm pleased

because i finally finished editing my chem pt

yupp

so thats 2 down

and 1 left

finished my ss pt cutting and pasting on sunday

oh ya.

so saturday

xiaolongbao suddenly talk to me on msn

i was so shocked but happy

hee(:

so touched

well. i dont know if he remembers my face

but i am just glad that he came to talk to me

yupp

taiwantrip05 rocks the hell out of me(:

so today wanted to pon trng

cause everyone basically ponned

well

foilist had full attendance except sarah

cause she had third lang

so excused!

-beams-

trng was quite fruitul todya

i am glad i didnt pon

i learnt how to squat down and attack by surprice

its damn bloody cool

how jiaolian does it is damn graceful

i must aim to be like her

i must go practice balancing on my toes while squating down(:

wow!

that is like ballet

hahas

oh and ya

jiaolian praised me today

ahhahs

i can't help but showing off

cause its been a long time since she praised me

erm.well dont ask me for my attendance

hahas

anywya i got excuse execpt for the time i ponned trng just to go shopping for laoshi present with shuhoosh

and in the end get suanned by her like mad

and got stalked by charm and wanlin

but after that went dinner with miss ng char and chengyan and hannah

(: haven seen them in ages!

chengyan is so chio now

anyway yupp

and jiaoliao says my arm very strong

thats why i can ya jian

and my opponent cannot fan jian

hahas

when she said it

she made me feel like hercules

hmmm.

is it good or bad

and she said i very wen aka stable

and that i got guan cha aka observe

yay!

i finally did it

i am so proud of myself

i used to be this mad cow

who charge into my opponent like mad

hahas

yay!

now i finally learnt how to guan cha(:

dont say i ego please

boost my ego

cause my fencing has been very lousy ):

but now it has improve

i shall go mug for maths now

2006-09-09T15:59:00.000+08:00

when i clicked on the internet icon

the familiar yahoo webpage came on

and the first thing that caught my eye was the news on 9/11

i dont know why

but there is this something like gravity that pulled me towards that link

i clicked on it adnr ead the article

and i teared

i just cannot take it when people die

i hate it when people die

i hate it when we have to part

i really hate it

the article was really sad

many woman out there is america is living their lives with their kids that do not even know how their dads look like and feel like

it just hit me

that i cannot live without my daddy or my mummy

and its all because of a stupid crash by some idiots

that caused thousands to live in agony now

indeed thoses people were heroic

they are heros in the eyes of many

but behind their heroic acts

they sacrificed themselves to save many others

and their families are sacrificed too

their parents

their spouses

their babies

will not see them anymore

they wont and cannot be together anymore

i just could not stop crying

why is life so fragile

why?

fruitful holiday

2006-09-08T10:24:00.000+08:00

whee my holiday is quite fruitful

i almost completed all my hw

and i had fun too

yay!

i finnalllly learnt how to manage my time and balance my work and play time

yay!

i am so bloody proud of myself

okkays

now i shall go do my maths fa

then i shall research on my physics pt

then tml after netball prac

i go study maths and ask jng for remedial

then i will come home prepare for my jap orals

and yupp!

my work will be done(:

WELL DONE BENITA!

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

but i guess i need to start on my ss pt again

cause i decided to cut one father off

and just do on two founding fathers

and yupp

nevertheless

i am proud of myself(:

the only pity is

BANQUET WILL NOT BE OUT TILL 15 SEP

THERE GOES MY CHANCE OF WATCHING MY EYECANDY

BOOHOO):

hw list ):

2006-09-08T10:21:00.000+08:00

i must plan my to-do-list
if not i will do nothing
heh heh
.
TESTS!

~~maths revision for test~~
japanese orals

PERFORMANCE TASKS!

physics
~~social studies~~
~~chemistry~~

EXTRA

~~bio fieldtrip reflection~~
~~bio cancer talk reflection~~
~~arrange my table~~
~~maths revision exercise 1~~
~~maths revision exercise 2~~
~~maths summary table~~
~~maths formative assesment~~

dont piss me off

2006-09-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

i dont hate anyone ok

just ignore that emo post

can't i even like say something that pisses me off

isn't this what a blog is supposed to be for

you cannot expect me to be saint and love everybody all the time

you cannot expect me to just post nice stuff on my blog

freedom of expression!

i dont like to delete any post

even if its a emo post

because it is a record of what i am feeling at a certain time

i dont want wish that when i look back on life

i have a stupid happy life

which is oh-so-ever perfect

because no life is perfect